“closed
thoughts”
c. 2002, Miriam M. Wynn
I want to get
at you;
find the reasons for the silence
beating deep inside your eyes;
i want to know
why you refuse to talk about it;
just what it was that made you so;
my ears are echoing
with your soft grate,
the wistful way you
said my name and told me
you would see me tomorrow;
I feel like I
am reaching with a sieve
to catch what i can and make some sense of you;
you pulled me
in,
with eyes searching, weighing, finding;
you made me nervous
with
one rush of velvet words;
you play like a virtuoso
and deep down i know you’re only human,
and i want to grab the strings from you
and make you face me with flesh and bone.
I am wondering
what she said and how she said it;
i am wondering
how she made you change from vital to subdued
i am wondering
whether you are hurt or missing her
and some part of me wishes i could somehow graft the burn;
and I remember
your voice,
and my own burn is stinging because
you said you wouldn’t let me in,
just when I had mustered up some courage;
the stars are
telling me it will happen if it happens;
and I can only sigh at home aware -
you are in your own world and I’m outside it,
both thinking closed thoughts at home alone.
